more on calling long distance

[Twenty minutes later]

Guest: My cell phone isn't working, how do I use your phones?

Schatzi: To make a local call, just dial 9 and then the phone number.

Guest: You said it's not a local call.

Schatzi, experiencing deja vu: If it's a long distance call, you need a calling card.

Guest: Well, I don't have one. It says on the phone I can bill it to my room.

Schatzi: I'm sorry, but it is impossible to make a long distance call on our phones. You will need to buy a calling card at Target or 7-11.

Guest: Then why does it say that on the phone?

Schatzi: They're generic equipment, for use in many kinds of motels. I'm sorry, but as I explained, our phone system cannot make long distance calls. You'll need to buy a calling card at Target or 7-11.

Guest: I'm not going to do that! [hangs up]