Thursday, April 24

the new obscene phone call

"--stalking me. All he want to do is get his raggedy face in my juicy pussy. Thank you for using text to landline."

That's what I heard in one of those creepy TTS voices when I just answered the desk phone, haha.

Saturday, April 19

well if you'd told me it was black, I would have known it was yours immediately!

Caller: I left my charger plugged in in Room 200 when I checked out today. Do you still have it?
Me: I'm sure we do, what kind of charger is it?
Caller: Black.
Me: Umm, what brand?
Caller: It's a Cricket Motorola.
Me: Okay well, there are several Motorola chargers here in our Lost & Found box; you can come take a look at them, and see which is yours.
Caller: You don't have a black charger?
Me: 99.9% of the chargers turned in are black, ma'am.
Caller: Oh.

She never came in for it, either.

Thursday, April 17

repeating yourself isn't going to make them appear on my guestlist

Caller: I'd like to speak with the Jones family; they're checked in there.
Me: Just a moment, ma'am, while I check my guestlist. [pause] I'm sorry, but the Joneses appear to have checked out.
Caller, slowly: I'd like to speak to the Joneses.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but as I said, they appear to have checked out; there's no one staying here by that name.
Caller, after another pause, and with deadly calm: I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
Me: I'm sorry, but he's not here at the moment. If he were here though, he wouldn't be able to connect you to the Joneses either, ma'am, because they're not staying here.
Caller: Fuck you! [hangs up]

I told the MOD about this call the next day, giggling the whole time. She told me she was glad that I was laughing, because she would have been "pissed beyond belief at that shit."