Wednesday, September 17

trouble in Barrytown

It may be coincidental, but ever since I spurned Barry Hunter's affections, he's been getting a bit out of hand. First he started coming into the office at all hours looking for me, sometimes four times in a shift. Fortunately, my co-workers were thoughtful enough to note these visits for me in the notebook. He also started going buckwild with his other eccentric habits: being up and about at all hours of the night, banging on doors, walls, and cars. following people to their rooms, propositioning women (fortunately, he seems to have the sense to restrain himself to propositioning hookers rather than our less unsavory clientele), wandering the property while looking completely nuts. At least once a night I get a phone call from someone reporting a strange old man on the property, and I have to reassure them that he's a harmless resident. (We hope he is.) He has also begun taking up with some interesting characters; women we believe he pays for their company. And they are very, very disturbing.
His burst of activity has also led to myriad notes in the logbook:
"Barry kept calling around 3am and asking if I was Adrien. I told him no and he said then who R U? I asked him what he needed and he said a girl in my room. He called like 3x in less than an hour saying the same thing."
"Barry left flowers at room 100 and was knocking on room 119."
"I don't know how it's possible, but Barry's being even more a pain in the ass, keeps music on full blast and has a crackhead int he room."
"Bad crackhead in Barry's room again, closed door at 3:30am. She is always naked and loud (and very gross)."
"Barry opening his door and slamming all night . . . annoying!"
"Barry's the worst he's every been, had to call the police."
"Barry calling room 100 . . . they were understanding."
"Barry now stands putside and laughs maniacally."
"Barry came in looking for Scahtzi and was disappointed to find me."
"Watch Barry. Some tweaker/prostitute and pimp were in his room going through his stuff. I made them leave."
"Keep an eye on Barry's room. That tweaker prostitute was hanging around him again (NOT GOOD). I told her she doesn't need to be on property when she's not a guest."
"Been chasing after Barry all night. Made him go to his room around 3:45am."
 
And my personal favorite: "Barry's on FIRE tonight!"

3 comments:

Paul J. Heney said...

Love the blog and really appreciate your sense of humor! Writing for the hotel industry, I sometimes forget about the less-glamorous side of things that can go on.

Keep up the good work!

Schatzi said...

Thank you very much!

LDP said...

Barry gets more play than me. You should change his last name from Hunter to Smoov.