no, your other right

I often am called upon to give directions to and answer questions about other lol-iday inn locations, although we are all separate entities. Now that our parent company has built another location on the same street as ours, but ninety blocks east, things have gotten slightly more complicated.

Caller: Is this the lol-iday inn on A Street?

Schatzi: There are two on A Street now, and this is one of them. There's one at about 90th , and another at about 183rd--do you know which you're looking for?

Caller: The one by B Street.

Schatzi: B Street runs parallel to A Street for its entire length, sir. [Note: The two streets are one block apart throughout the entire city, so it's "by" both locations.] Can you think of anything else nearby?

Caller: Well, it's by 181st.

Schatzi: That's a lot closer to 183rd than 90th, so let me give you their number. Do you have a pen?

Caller: Uh, no. Hold on.

not part of my job descrpition

Schatzi: Thank you for calling lol-iday inn, how can I help you?
Caller: Um. Can you talk to me while I'm naked?
Schatzi: I'm sorry, no. Thank you for calling!

where, oh where has my little crack rock gone?

A very interesting woman left belongings here yesterday (I'll tell you about that later), but apparently forgot a thing or two because she just called.

Guest: I left some of my things there yesterday. I got most of them, but I'm missing a few things.
Schatzi: What's that?
Guest: My phone charger--
Schatzi: That was with your backpack; I remember putting it on top of it myself. But I'll check the Lost and Found to see if it's there. What else?
Guest: My dog's medicine. I left it on the bed, and he'll die if he doesn't get it.
Schatzi: Well, that's not good. What was it? What did it look like?
Guest: I left it on the bed in a small plastic bag, maybe 4x4?
Schatzi: I see. Well, if it looked like garbage, the housekeepers probably threw it out if they found it.
Guest: It's real important that I get it. Can you check the Lost and Found? It's white, and looks like little rocks.
Schatzi: Uh-huh.

I actually took her phone number down. The charger was indeed left in the Lost and Found, but sadly for her dog, the crack was not.