tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90508174124536037062011-11-27T17:25:03.769-08:00I'm a full-time student who makes ends meet in a seedy motel on the edge of one of Portland's notorious vice districts. Though we get a lot of nice out-of-towners either driving through town or coming through the airport, we also see a lot of the vermin that populate Portland's underbelly. Or as I put it once, "Tweakers, hookers, and vagrants--oh my!"<BR> Personally, I'm constantly amazed by what I see of humanity here: the nasty, the dumb, and on rare occasions, the sublime.Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.comBlogger531100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-87713122739922511422009-05-25T14:38:00.000-07:002009-05-25T14:39:54.778-07:00

Over to Wordpress. All your favorite posts are already there, waiting. Check it out: lolidayinn.wordpress.com

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-52560958945689527472009-05-20T21:14:00.001-07:002009-05-22T17:03:24.000-07:00

Awesome update on the Ingallses! Wallace was working and got a call inquiring about 136, the Jacuzzi room with a king bed. He told the caller it was available, and they said they'd be right over. He had kind of a weird feeling about the caller, so he locked up his laptop, and waited. It was the Ingallses, who he wasn't familiar with due to never encountering them on his shift before (remember,

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-84886255381745505592009-05-18T00:27:00.000-07:002009-05-18T00:28:22.723-07:00

Today I got to clean up a dead baby opossum from the parking lot. Some crows were snacking on it, and had eaten the eyes.I'm so lucky!

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-82227114128116491472009-05-16T17:25:00.001-07:002009-05-17T03:21:43.462-07:00

I talked to Adrienne about Ms "It's My Twin Sister's ID." Turns out that she is Michelle Ingalls, who we've had trouble with a whole bunch recently. Trouble with she and her husband both, actually. And their dogs. When checking in, Mr Ingalls told us would be just him and his kid, and that his wife might stop by, but he would let us know whether she would stay or not. A day or two went by, and

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-66785604197107160252009-05-13T22:23:00.001-07:002009-05-17T03:05:13.821-07:00

I was working late tonight, and a woman came in asking about a room for one. She looked really familiar, and I was certain she'd stayed here before several times, but I have a hard time putting names to faces (a liability here). I asked for her ID, and when she handed it to me, examined it. And then looked at her and said, "This isn't you."She huffed and puffed about how it most certainly was her

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-62405850829414072332009-05-10T17:58:00.001-07:002009-05-17T03:22:05.567-07:00

One thing that frustrates us to no end is the way in which people blatantly lie and expect us to believe them. Mostly, people lie about the number of people in a room. Look, dudes, we know you're coming here with your girl/boyfriend, so just pay up. You other dudes, we know you're bringing in a prostitute, so just pay up. We don't care, just so long as a) we get our money, and b) you don't try to

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-80283783066244282792009-05-09T20:18:00.001-07:002009-05-17T03:06:22.148-07:00

When I worked last on Thursday evening, 219 was having phone problems; she could not get a dialtone and was also not receiving any calls. I tested the line, and the phone just rang and rang, indicating that it was plugged in (if it's not, we get a disconnecting message), so I went up and checked the phone out, ascertained it didn't work, and fetched another phone with which to replace it. Well,

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-28387093007180093882009-04-22T22:32:00.001-07:002009-04-23T03:48:50.346-07:00

I often am called upon to give directions to and answer questions about other lol-iday inn locations, although we are all separate entities. Now that our parent company has built another location on the same street as ours, but ninety blocks east, things have gotten slightly more complicated. Caller: Is this the lol-iday inn on A Street? Schatzi: There are two on A Street now, and this is one

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-38950549938124504612009-04-16T20:37:00.001-07:002009-04-17T15:47:49.407-07:00

We recently had a fun guest, the likes of which we haven't had in quite a while. Someone else paid for his eleven-day stay, and the gentleman occupied a smoking single, 218. He had been here a few days when I first encountered him on a quiet Sunday morning. He came down to the office to hang out while the housekeepers finished cleaning his room—or so he told me. He was in here and wandering

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-25118672919984056892009-04-07T20:55:00.000-07:002009-04-17T03:44:04.492-07:00

One of the nice things about the end of winter is that this stops happening.Prospective Guest: How much for a single?Schatzi: Just one person? $56.24 after tax.PG: That's not what the sign out front says!Schatzi: The price isn't on the sign, sir or ma'am.PG: Yeah, it says $39!Schatzi: That's the temperature, sir or ma'am.

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-31132887009375596892009-03-19T16:13:00.001-07:002009-04-17T03:43:18.415-07:00

Hurrah, Wallace is returning to the lol-iday inn! You might remember my stalwart compatriot from the graveyard shift, who left in October after the shooting. Well, the job hunting has been poor since then; he reports that where there were once three or four other people at interviews, there are now twenty or more, some in three-piece suits, people who lost GOOD jobs. So he's back at the good old

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-63547449710806384922009-02-15T20:51:00.001-08:002009-04-06T12:21:17.448-07:00

there are double doors to the lobby, but we keep the left one (as I face them) locked. there is a sign at eye level on the door saying, "please use other door." despite this, I cannot count (though perhaps I should try one day) the number of people who try to walk through that door. they'll do it on their way in, and again on their way out. sometimes they stand there, repeatedly trying to open it

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-66948296640267438582009-02-12T16:54:00.001-08:002009-02-13T01:38:25.946-08:00

It's been a pretty quiet winter here at the lol-iday inn. Usually we have scads of people who live on the streets or in their cars all summer checking in to stay somewhere warm where they can shower, but I guess the economy's been slowing everyone down. Even the cops have little to keep them busy lately, or so they tell me when they drop by, which is rarely. We did have a little excitement

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-62494900668036565952008-12-27T17:51:00.001-08:002009-04-17T03:44:56.320-07:00

Schatzi: Thank you for calling lol-iday inn, how can I help you?Caller: Um. Can you talk to me while I'm naked?Schatzi: I'm sorry, no. Thank you for calling!

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-70243143404654598442008-12-13T20:30:00.001-08:002009-04-17T03:45:30.140-07:00

When someone asks, "Are they pretty clean rooms?" or some variation thereof. No, they're filthy. We actually don't clean them. And even if that were the case, why would we tell you that?

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-87648979547353349172008-10-29T19:51:00.001-07:002008-10-29T19:51:02.396-07:00

Schatzi: Is this address current? Guest: The one on the driver's license is.   Since that was the only ID of theirs I had, I wonder what people like this are thinking. Why doesn't a "yes" or "no" suffice?

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-31978268996693104562008-10-26T14:30:00.001-07:002008-10-26T14:30:10.434-07:00

A young man came into the office early this afternoon and told me that he and his girl were "having words," and could I please give him a key since she'd locked him out? I checked his ID, and since his name was on the room, went ahead and gave him one.   A half an hour later, 211 called the office. This time it was the female occupant. "I need you to tell him to get out of here! Call the cops!"

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-22154256933084203342008-10-24T16:02:00.001-07:002008-10-24T16:02:43.194-07:00

I missed some excitement Thursday night. When I turned over desk duty to Wallace at ten o'clock, I thought his biggest problem would be two feuding sets of rooms; both had noisy children and parents that disliked one another. When I woke up this morning, however, I had a text from him: "Shots fired right in front of me at work last night." HOLY SHIT I called him and got the details. It seems he

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-4480012935680008282008-10-12T16:08:00.001-07:002009-02-13T01:39:38.666-08:00

Creepy, smelly woman in leather pants who's been staying here for a week: This key isn't working, and I need to speak to your manager or owner or whatever. Schatzi: Here's your reset key, and my manager will be in tomorrow. Is there anything I can help you with? Creepy smelly woman in leather pants, shaking her head: No, I need to let him know that you have a thief among you. Schatzi: Oh, really?

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-78688967403719721242008-10-12T13:20:00.001-07:002008-10-12T13:20:39.530-07:00

A woman came in and told me that she needed a printed confirmation for a reservation she had made for the twenty-ninth of this month. "I'm sorry," I told her. "But our computers are down this weekend, so I don't have any access to reservations, much less the ability to print a confirmation for you, right now. You could see whether the Central Reservations will fax or email a confirmation to you;

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-90061684585384948322008-10-03T18:41:00.001-07:002008-10-03T18:41:39.109-07:00

[Twenty minutes later] Guest: My cell phone isn't working, how do I use your phones? Schatzi: To make a local call, just dial 9 and then the phone number. Guest: You said it's not a local call. Schatzi, experiencing deja vu: If it's a long distance call, you need a calling card. Guest: Well, I don't have one. It says on the phone I can bill it to my room. Schatzi: I'm sorry, but it is

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-20017011953129933322008-10-03T18:02:00.001-07:002008-10-03T18:02:48.419-07:00

Guest at check-in: Are local calls free? Schatzi: Yes, you just dial 9 for an outside line. And don't forget that in Portland, you dial the area code for local calls. Guest: Why is that? Schatzi: Oh, I believe they needed more phone numbers due to all the cell phones. Guest: So I dial 9, and then 214, and then the number? Schatzi: Is 214 the area code? Guest: Yes. Schatzi: Then it's not a local

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-64451788418790258282008-10-01T21:38:00.001-07:002008-10-01T21:38:18.811-07:00

Guest calling from room: When is our room paid up until? Schatzi: Just a moment while I check the computer, ma'am. You are paid through Friday morning. Guest: So we can come down and pay for the weekend anytime before Friday morning? Schatzi: I'm sorry, but we aren't taking any reservations for this weekend, as we're booked. Guest: Our room isn't available? Schatzi: No, I'm sorry, but we have no

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-33396181095642475542008-09-28T10:34:00.001-07:002008-09-28T10:34:42.144-07:00

This morning around 9:30 I received a few calls from 109 asking to be connected to 100. This always irritates me, as I fail to understand why it's neccessary for someone to dial 0, wait for me to answer, then request the other room, and then wait for me to connect them instead of just dialing the three digits themselves. But I digress. After the third call, she called me at the desk and asked me

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-7182347901591693162008-09-25T22:03:00.001-07:002008-09-25T22:03:13.796-07:00

Is what I should have responded when she was blathering about how I just work in a hotel and can't have clients like she does. Ah, l'esprit de scalier.   Rewind thirty minutes. I was minding my business and the Lol-iday Inn's when I noticed some weirdness outside involving a cab. Two rather disreputable types came inside: a Latoya-channeling tranny in a short black jumpsuit with a white marabou

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-28721482049006823602008-09-24T18:23:00.001-07:002008-09-24T18:23:11.533-07:00

Now that we're not sold out every night of the week to pimps, hoz, and dealers, as well as vacationing familes, we've got more of another sort of guest: the agency guest. They are paid for usually by DHS (the Department of Human Services), the Red Cross, St Vincent de Paul, or sometimes by a few other groups out there. They are people who've been dispossessed due to the destruction of their home,

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-17615064022371618542008-09-21T13:37:00.001-07:002008-09-21T13:37:22.386-07:00

It's been a very quiet Sunday, no fuss, complaints, or problems. Then one of the housekeepers, Lupe, called to check on whether a few rooms were staying over or checking out since it was 1pm (checkout is at 11am), and there were still people in both rooms. I called 206 first, and they told me they were taking their stuff down to their car. Then I tried ringing 205; after twenty rings (I count),

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-90805247264464503352008-09-20T11:52:00.001-07:002008-09-20T11:52:04.405-07:00

It's been very quiet this past week. Business always falls off a bit after Labor Day when people stop traveling quite so much, but recent developments on 82nd Avenue have also contributed to the quiet.   I noticed it the week before last, when Kitty (an older regular who is a working girl) got a call while she was in the lobby having me reset her keys. She told me that it was her "boyfriend" (

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-78027924823464255732008-09-17T19:46:00.001-07:002008-09-17T19:46:18.743-07:00

It may be coincidental, but ever since I spurned Barry Hunter's affections, he's been getting a bit out of hand. First he started coming into the office at all hours looking for me, sometimes four times in a shift. Fortunately, my co-workers were thoughtful enough to note these visits for me in the notebook. He also started going buckwild with his other eccentric habits: being up and about at all

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-61331088733534931662008-09-17T18:48:00.001-07:002008-09-17T18:48:42.050-07:00

I think I may have crossd a line when I helped a prostitute fix her hairpiece before she went out.

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-30476842203507673042008-09-14T17:06:00.001-07:002008-09-14T17:06:34.645-07:00

Caller: Is this the location on Stark? Schatzi: Yes, it is. Caller: What's your rate for two people tonight? Schatzi: $74.24 after tax for two people. Caller: I thought it was only $59? Schatzi: No, I'm sorry, it's $74.24, and has been for a couple of months. Caller: Are you sure this is the one on Stark?

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-53777375227718481652008-09-12T22:46:00.000-07:002008-09-12T22:47:01.366-07:00

Caller: Are you the Lol-iday Inn near Wal-Mart? Schatzi: The closest Wal-Mart is about two miles south of here. Caller: So are you in the near vicinity? Schatzi: If you consider two miles the near vicinity, then sure. Caller: Well, I don't know, I'm from Cottage Grove.   I'm not sure whether miles are different in Cottage Grove or I'm just too easily annoyed by lines of questioning like this one.

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-68730411152500771762008-09-12T18:28:00.001-07:002008-09-12T18:28:42.729-07:00

Actual communication with Barry Hunter has taken place! When I pulled into work one day recently, I parked right in front of Barry's room since it is one of our two coveted shaded spots, and he came to the door and waved, hooting "Hello!" at me. I went back outside a few minutes later to get a Diet Coke from the Coke machine (being in desperate need of caffeinated fuel), and as I was bent over

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-56427663291741174962008-09-12T18:08:00.001-07:002008-09-12T18:08:05.818-07:00

  Last Sunday I had to kick out five rooms. I work the morning shift on the weekends (9am to 5pm), and often have to clean up messes from the pervious night. In this case, several rooms either knew each other previously, or struck up and acquaintance, and the guests were wandering from room to room. We discourage this when we see it because if we need to kick one of these people out (which we

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-33912189945294450162008-09-06T15:40:00.001-07:002008-09-06T15:40:03.737-07:00

Schatzi: Thank you for calling the Lol-iday Inn, how can I help you? Caller: I need to speak to a manager. Schatzi: I'm afraid he's not available right now, but is there something I could help you with? Caller: I had some questions about rooms. Do they all come with a fridge and microwave?   Did that really require a manager?

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-90916851129621158112008-09-06T14:43:00.001-07:002008-09-06T14:43:49.577-07:00

Earlier this morning, maybe 10am, a young lady who had checked in to 208 with her "uncle" the previous evening came in to inform me that they would be staying another night, and would like to move to a downstairs room. When people check in fairly late, and their desired sort of room is not available (first floor, smoking, non-smoking, two beds, etc), we often try to accommodate them if they stay

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-11027519558854442822008-09-04T17:38:00.001-07:002008-09-04T17:38:05.102-07:00

Schatzi: Did you want to guarantee that reservation with a credit card?Customer on the phone: I have a MasterCard.Schatzi: Okay, I'm ready for the number. Customer: It's a Washington Mutual MasterCard. But there's no money in my account. Can I pay cash?Schatzi: You may pay cash when you check in, sir, but to guarantee the reservation I need a credit card number. We won't charge anything until you

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-90138513283998529942008-07-25T16:15:00.001-07:002008-07-28T17:07:12.127-07:00

Barry Hunter is a sixty-four year old gentleman who has been living at the lol-iday inn longer than I’ve worked there, so for over two years now. We get long-term residents from time to time, especially in the winter when people stop sleeping outside or in their cars, but he is by far the longest stay.Barry Hunter is, well, touched. He’s a bit of an odd duck, and mostly does not speak to anyone

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-33867254632293609082008-07-18T01:12:00.001-07:002008-07-18T01:12:57.323-07:00

There’s been an elderly lady and her son staying here for a hundred and thirteen nights. They’re from Hawai’i, and though the son seemed initially rude to me, he’s proven to be a very polite, if somewhat brusque, gentleman. The mother is a very sweet lady—I’ll call her Matilda since she has a very old-fashioned name—but not in very good health. Lifeline came and set up her phone for emergency

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-35135414476105727612008-07-17T14:54:00.000-07:002008-07-17T15:00:10.477-07:00

One of my favorite regulars, Kathy, is no longer staying with us. She was dropped off by her man late Saturday night after he and two of his other girls beat the crap out of her. Her arms and chest were mottled black and blue, and the right side of her face was completely swollen; it looked like she had somehow stuffed a softball into her mouth. The graveyard guy insisted on calling an ambulance

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-39807893215588369332008-07-11T02:05:00.000-07:002008-07-11T02:06:39.498-07:00

Today a resident prostitute was walking past Barry Hunter when he made some unsavory remarks—as he is wont to do, according to guests, though the staff hasn’t yet caught him at it. She told him, “You better stop looking at me all perverted, Barry!” to which he responded, “I can and I will!”Words to live by from Barry Hunter.

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-91454176657522252322008-07-04T01:55:00.000-07:002008-07-04T02:06:36.745-07:00

We have an elderly gent staying at The Motel who has been there longer than I have. He's a very odd duck--we'll call him Barry Hunter--who doesn't talk much except to mutter to himself and occasionally meep. He's kind of like our own extremely crazy but mostly harmless Mr Bean. Barry's been getting up to all kinds of shenanigans lately, which I'll have to further detail later. This past Sunday

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-79629998491683862042008-06-29T17:47:00.000-07:002008-06-29T17:48:38.178-07:00

Saturday was a record breaker here in Portland, with reports of temperatures over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit. It’s not surprising, then, that The Motel was hopping busy with troglodytes from all over the city checking in to escape the heat. Early afternoon was pretty quiet, however, other than this incident.I was sitting at the desk, quietly reading a Neil Gaiman omnibus and enjoying the not

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-29250537795178312422008-06-14T15:07:00.000-07:002008-06-14T15:08:52.364-07:00

A girl was enraged last night because I could not cash out her Scratch-It ticket. Could not, or would not?

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-30643313546694981412008-06-08T16:51:00.000-07:002008-06-08T16:58:25.828-07:00

A very interesting woman left belongings here yesterday (I'll tell you about that later), but apparently forgot a thing or two because she just called.Guest: I left some of my things there yesterday. I got most of them, but I'm missing a few things.Schatzi: What's that?Guest: My phone charger--Schatzi: That was with your backpack; I remember putting it on top of it myself. But I'll check the Lost

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-7563043091725273332008-06-06T16:41:00.000-07:002008-06-06T17:04:06.121-07:00

Though our housekeepers aren’t perfect, they do a pretty good job and are fairly thorough (but I must admit that those 20/20 or Dateline-style exposes on the cleanliness of hotel rooms are pretty spot-on; only the sheets and towels are changed daily), so when we had a wave of complaints about dirty rooms, we wondered just what exactly was going on. Invariably, the complaint was that although the

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-44797458312182964672008-06-05T03:29:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:35:41.755-07:00

I just came across this old tidbit from shortly after I first began working here.Schatzi: man, the cops who come to my work talk to me like I am the most sheltered white girl in the universe.Phill: hahaSchatzi: talking about a hooker: "she's accused of robbing her, well, uh, we call her customers 'johns.'"Schatzi: DUH!Phill: hahaPhill: i think they don't wish to offendSchatzi: it gets worse--

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-71797094939554931742008-05-09T23:19:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:36:03.005-07:00

We occasionally receive faxes regarding Amber Alerts, notifying us of missing or endangered children (usually having something to do with custody disputes, I have noticed), or advising us of dangerous felons in the area, so it wasn’t unusual to get a fax of that nature my Monday night. Our fax machine has been acting up lately, and it was a few hours into my shift before I got anything to print.

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-62343498399041690762008-05-09T22:52:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:36:23.686-07:00

I had just checked in a middle-aged lady and sent her up to her room when a gentleman came in needing a room. As I was checking him in, the phone rang. It was the woman I’d just checked in. Uh-oh. Schatzi: Front desk, how can I help you, ma’am?Guest #1: Where’s the air conditioning unit in my room?Schatzi: Well, it’s in one of two places, ma’am: the front wall or the back wall of the room.Guest

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-44907841488277722402008-05-01T15:11:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:36:35.757-07:00

Guest: I want room 126 for four nights.Schatzi: I'm sorry, but 126 is only available Saturday. The only rooms at the end you prefer that will be open for those four days are 227 and 228.G: Well, put my friend in 227, I want 126.S: It's not available during your stay.G: I'll stay in 126 Saturday, then move.S: I'm afraid I can't guarantee you a room to move to since this weekend we're almost

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-51310744338071098672008-04-24T01:45:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:36:48.461-07:00

"--stalking me. All he want to do is get his raggedy face in my juicy pussy. Thank you for using text to landline."That's what I heard in one of those creepy TTS voices when I just answered the desk phone, haha.

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-26648698184586404902008-04-19T00:29:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:36:58.506-07:00

Caller: I left my charger plugged in in Room 200 when I checked out today. Do you still have it?Me: I'm sure we do, what kind of charger is it?Caller: Black.Me: Umm, what brand?Caller: It's a Cricket Motorola.Me: Okay well, there are several Motorola chargers here in our Lost & Found box; you can come take a look at them, and see which is yours.Caller: You don't have a black charger?Me: 99.9% of

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050817412453603706.post-53699715938161279572008-04-17T02:02:00.000-07:002008-06-05T03:37:13.851-07:00

Caller: I'd like to speak with the Jones family; they're checked in there.Me: Just a moment, ma'am, while I check my guestlist. [pause] I'm sorry, but the Joneses appear to have checked out.Caller, slowly: I'd like to speak to the Joneses.Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but as I said, they appear to have checked out; there's no one staying here by that name.Caller, after another pause, and with deadly

Schatzihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01153662101677194392noreply@blogger.com0